Archive for the ‘l33t’ Tag
Given the outrageous popularity of my previous post on imaginary battle royals, I thought I would continue the trend with a geeked out thought experiment.
Who would win in a battle of Aliens? Predator or Lego Predator?
Lego Predator is immobile, plastic, incredibally geeky and has no weapons or camoflague to speak of. He does, however, posses infrared vision and can wisecrack with the Governors of various states.
The Predator is more alive and deadly than its plastic cousin and would have at its disposal all sorts of deadly alien weaponry. In the end, I think the Lego Predator wins this one, given that the lego Predator is real and the actual predator is imaginary.
Don’t write in Ron Paul for US President in 2008. Instead, choose your own president and let internet democracy become a reality this fall!
Choose from such qualified candidates as Wilford Brimley, Chuck Norris, David Hasselhoff and the 1985 Chicago Bears!
So log on and let your choice be heard. It will make you feel better about not voting in the election this fall.
Is World of Warcraft a harmless waste of time like crossword puzzles and masturbation, or is something far, far more terrifying, like demolition derbies and pick up games of “kick the cat?”
All I know is that everyone I know IRL who plays WoW is a giant waste of space. Without exception these mouth-breathing, knuckle dragging morons live in some kind of fantasy world to distract themselves from their mediocre, impoverished, socially-awkward existence. Want to forget about your job with the name tag and the hairnet? Level up in WoW. Want to forget about your receding hairline and piles of credit card debt? Just log on for some raids in WoW. Want to forget about that tight, tingly feeling in your stomach when you look at a woman? Log on to Laughing Skull, that will make real life seem better.
I have an idea, maybe your junior-college drop-out, no money for beer and too ugly for women lifestyle would change if you paid more attention to your real life quests than your fantasy mage in WoW.
Taking a shower regularly IRL? Consider that building up hygiene points. When you run out of shampoo you can “level up” to some designer stuff instead of the Generic Drug Store Hair Care you’ve been using since the late 90’s.
Working out 3 times a week? That goes on your strength card if its weight training and agility if you add some light cardio.
Talking to girls? That’s charisma, chum. So don’t take time out of the limited existence here on earth to go playing prolonged games of make believe.
In stead, live life in the real world, where almost all of the hot girls live.
I’m on the west coast, so this is going up just in time: 3.14 1:59 PM.
I know for a fact that I’ve seen this chart of the United Federation of Planets online before.
Check out this monstrosity, which refuses to display correctly on my twenty-four inch monitor.
And apparently the
soft spoken introvert artist didn’t quite get all of his geek out the first time, because there is this heinous attempt at cartography afoot in the Tubes, along with an ENTIRE F-ING MAP ROOM DEVOTED TO A FICTIONAL UNIVERSE IN CYBER SPACE!
This is so ridiculous.
I mean, Bajor is in the Mother-Freezing Heezy! Bajor? Really?
Look Major Kira Nerys was pretty OK, I guess, so now I’m not sure what to do with all of this self-righteous internet rage I built up. Screw You, Internet, for con-fabulating me once again!
Photos Found at the Star Trek Data Base.
It’s really worth the click and the read, but more than a few of the entries include real world shenanigans, like murder, IRL death (as a result of over-playing) and kidnapping.
My own most bizarre online incident involved marathon battle-tetris and some spilled Mountain Dew, but that is a tale for another day.
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