WoW: Harmless Waste of Time or Cult for Maladjusted Shut-ins?

Is World of Warcraft a harmless waste of time like crossword puzzles and masturbation, or is something far, far more terrifying, like demolition derbies and pick up games of “kick the cat?”

Harmless or Harmful?

All I know is that everyone I know IRL who plays WoW is a giant waste of space. Without exception these mouth-breathing, knuckle dragging morons live in some kind of fantasy world to distract themselves from their mediocre, impoverished, socially-awkward existence. Want to forget about your job with the name tag and the hairnet? Level up in WoW. Want to forget about your receding hairline and piles of credit card debt? Just log on for some raids in WoW. Want to forget about that tight, tingly feeling in your stomach when you look at a woman? Log on to Laughing Skull, that will make real life seem better.

I have an idea, maybe your junior-college drop-out, no money for beer and too ugly for women lifestyle would change if you paid more attention to your real life quests than your fantasy mage in WoW.

Taking a shower regularly IRL? Consider that building up hygiene points. When you run out of shampoo you can “level up” to some designer stuff instead of the Generic Drug Store Hair Care you’ve been using since the late 90’s.

Working out 3 times a week? That goes on your strength card if its weight training and agility if you add some light cardio.

Talking to girls? That’s charisma, chum. So don’t take time out of the limited existence here on earth to go playing prolonged games of make believe.

In stead, live life in the real world, where almost all of the hot girls live.



3 comments so far

  1. Manatank on

    Hmm… I suppose those of us in relationships, holding down high paying jobs, and maintaining a social life kind of go against your little theory? I play WoW because it provides a fun challenge in a life without challenges.

    Aside from that, you are just flat out wrong. WoW isn’t a fantasy world, it’s a social network built around a game. These sad individuals you’ve characterized aren’t finding enough social interaction outside of WoW so they are drawn to it in the game. What is wrong with that? Any amount of socializing is probably helpful for them and makes them better adjusted individuals.

    That said, all of your suggestions for self improvement are worth following if someone is lacking in those areas. Balance in life is worth striving for.

    As for your comment about “hot girls”… What makes you think they aren’t playing WoW too? I know some who are.

  2. frankl1n on

    My theory isn’t little. I’ve been told it’s a good size.

  3. Manatank on

    Almost clever. Worth a golf clap at any rate.

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