XXX Sesame Street

Found Virginia Heffernan’s hard hitting piece in the Times this morning that looks at the bad old days of Sesame Street. Apparently, the newly released Children’s Television Workshop DVDs are not suitable for children.

Now, having grown up on “The Street,” as we called it back in the early 80’s, I was puzzled as to why today’s tots should eschew the early seasons of this cultural icon.

I mean, it’s not like Mr. Hooper was slinging crack and pimping out Maria. maria.jpg <– keep working that corner.

And the last time I checked, Bert was not running a long con on Ernie and Mr. Snuffleupagus was not Big Bird’s Drug Mule.

So why is the television of my childhood suddenly Hard Core Explicit?

From The Page:

I asked Carol-Lynn Parente, the executive producer of “Sesame Street,” how exactly the first episodes were unsuitable for toddlers in 2007. She told me about Alistair Cookie and the parody “Monsterpiece Theater.” Alistair Cookie, played by Cookie Monster, used to appear with a pipe, which he later gobbled. According to Parente, “That modeled the wrong behavior” — smoking, eating pipes — “so we reshot those scenes without the pipe, and then we dropped the parody altogether.”

Monsters eating Pipes? This is what kids can’t handle? I got news for you, PBS. Life is tough- especially on the internets. If you think that a giant blue monster in a smoking jacket eating tobacco paraphernalia is traumatic, you have obviously never been online.

Kids today are awaiting  a veritable mine field of inappropriate images- both online and IRL.  (See exhibits A, B, and C if you doubt the horrors that live in the tubes).

The only way to ready these kids is to toughen them up early. I say we need more Monsters eating pipes. Hell, they should be eating crack pipes and reenacting scenes from ‘Naked Lunch’ in order to better prepare toddlers for the horrors that await them in the cesspool that is the internet.

We need to stop coddling our children. Modern technology coupled with the lazy parenting epidemic currently sweeping America demand full frontal children’s programming. It would be a disservice to the future of our country to show them anything less.

-Frankl1n

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3 comments so far

  1. Dr Batsen D Belfry on

    I can’t even believe there are no comments on this.

    It’s not like Cookie Monster was passed some hash cookies instead of the standard chocolate chip variety and immediately started jacking for snacks.

    Bert and Ernie didn’t file for same sex benefits. Honestly, they were co-habitating so why not take things to the next level? Sesame Street was sufficiently left for the times so the execs should have honored the request with no problems.

    Oscar the Grouch didn’t lose it and go postal. There were times I thought he would have, but he didn’t.

    Extending this to the Muppets, Dr. Bunsen E. Honeydew and Beaker could have been operating a meth lab…

    DBDB

  2. frankl1n on

    LOL, Good Doctor.

  3. centralqz » XXX Sesame Street on

    […] all the details here […]


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