LOLCAT: A Gateway Drug
The bad grammar, the silly props – LOLCAT is an affront to decency, morals, language and animals. I think we should love our animals, not demean them with ridiculous hats and incomplete sentences. My research has recently revealed that the LOLCAT phenomenon is actually a gateway meme that leads to more dangerous and egregious behaviors IRL. It seems that LOLCAT has lead people to COOK CATS for their own amusement.
The dangers of LOLCAT are real, not hypothetical or imaginary. No longer as silly internet nuisance – LOLCAT users, much like crack heads, are upping the ante on their cat shenanigans and main-lining animal cruelty.
The two problems are clearly related. It is a short step from: Hey, I think this is funny.
To: Hey, I want to cook a cat and eat the living hell out of it.
Don’t get me wrong, I like puns as much as the next guys (so long as the next guy only kind of enjoys puns) – but cooking a cat in a cast iron skillet for the express purpose of getting your linguistic jollies is the height of indecency and must be stopped.
We must take action today! We must rid the internet of not only LOLCATs, but of all cats.
To be safe, we should also ban Cat Stevens.
We, as concerned citizens, must make our voices heard and stand up against this menace known as LOLCAT. Together we can make a difference. Together, we can get cats offline and into trees where they belong.