Dear God, Make it Stop

Apologies for not updating this blog in a bit. I have been sick. And I don’t mean sick as cool, I mean sick as in ill. And by ill, I don’t mean cool, I mean passed out with my head on a toilet shaking with feverish chills and doing battle with long suppressed and unpleasant memories of Junior High School.

Well, now my wits are firmly about me and my formative years are firmly locked in the dungeon of my subconscious and I have bad websites to rant about.

For instance – LOOK AT THIS MONSTROSITY!

From the nauseating background to the spinning hearts, this page screams DELETE ME!

And the self-referential text tries to play itself off as cool and above the black hearted chaos of the site, but even that is poorly played out and dated.

Quoting from the page:

the truth is…. this page hasn’t been updated since july the 1st, 1999, and it’s now feb 19th 2002. and unfortunately, i deleted all the tragic crap that was on here. too bad, because i’m sure that would have been prime time entertainment right now!!

The extra exclamation point really sells it. Well, that and the junk link they threw in at the bottom. Real classy, baby. Real freaking classy.

Attention geocities: you are sullying the internets and wasting my time. These pages should be deleted and forgotten by all parties involved, much like my time spent getting beaten up in Junior High School.

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