Archive for September, 2007|Monthly archive page

The Internet Is Dumb and This Is Making It Dumber

There are no words to describe this – only faint twinges of self-loathing and technophobia.

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Furries Sink to New Levels of Depravity, Make Internets Even More Disturbing

I thought I had dealt with this.

I thought I had made peace with the sickening, disgusting phenomenon known as Furries (referenced, briefly, in my post here). Sure, I thought, they are all socially backward sexual deviants who breath through their mouths and still live in their parent’s basements. Sure, they have disturbing sexual fantasies about anthropomorphized animals and a gross misunderstanding of genetics. But really, I thought, who are they hurting?

Then I ran into this.

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Behold the unspeakable drek that is babyfurz.

That’s right. Not just Furries. Baby Furries that, according to the unholy website, need lots of hugs and kisses . . . and the occasional diaper change!

I really wish I could pull my own eyes out of my head, Oedipus style right now because this is the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life – even including that time I accidentally watched all of  Police Academy IV.
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Just look at this garbage!

That glint in “mimo’s” eye. That sexy, prone, diaper changing pose.

IS THIS REALLY WHAT WE, AS HUMAN BEINGS HAVE COME TO?

SEXUALLY VIOLATING ANIMAL BABIES??

For shame, internet.

For shame.

I no longer believe in God, but tonight, I will kneel down and pray that God in Heaven smites this unholy website down, for it is truly an abomination.

Amen.

Gummy Bear Gets Pwnd By Science

Caught this video on YouTube and was positively mesmerized.

Enjoy this freak-candy-science, you mouth breathing heathens.

LOLCAT is to the Internet what Disco was to the 70s.

Everyone loved it at the time – people couldn’t get enough of it. They were convinced that it was fun and enjoyable and a “feel-good” time. But then the coke-induced glow wore off and people all over America realized – hey, these pants look awful and this thing that has captured my energy and attention is a giant waste of time.

Of course, I am talking about LOLCAT.

I have a message for all you LOLCAT lovers, and, god help you, LOLCAT speakers.

Cut it out.

Seriously.

Enough.

It was mildly amusing three years ago.

Now you are only making yourself ridiculous.

No more photoshopped kittens.

No more forwarded links or pics.

Harbinger of the Apocolypse

I hereby declare a moratorium on LOLSPEAK and banish you all to the deep shame corner of the internet.

You know, the dark, stinky place where the Furries and Fan-Fiction Message Boards hang out.

By engaging in this sort of questionable behavior, you are setting yourself up for a giant fall. LOLCAT is not as wonderful as you think it is. I’m trying to do you all a favor here. 50 years from now people will look back in the old-timey internet archives and see this nonsense and ask us – WTF??

And what will you tell them? Will you look the future of America in the eyes (or maybe by that time they will have robotic eyes) and shift awkwardly in your flyingwheelchair and mutter something about how everyone was doing it at the time and we didn’t really know any better and then trail off and get your diaper changed by your cyborg nurse.

Or will you take a stand for dignity and justice?

Here.

Today.

Will you do something about this terrible meme so that later, when the LOLCAT Bible is lost to the scrapheap of internet history, and there are no more funny looking cats to add gibberish txt to, you can say – proudly, boldly- that you were never into that sort of thing and tried your hardest to erase it from the internet.

The choice is yours.

-Frankl1n

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

Just Bring It

This is classic.

The Arrow of Time

Maybe you’ve seen this interesting page by Argentinian photographer Diego Goldberg entitled the Arrow of Time.

Half art installation, half family history and half really awesome – the Page shows the passing of time through a series of black and white photographs.

Every year, on June 17th, the Goldberg family takes photos of their clan in an effort to momentarily stop the passing arrow of time. The project sterted in 1976 with the comely couple and continues through the present.

The entire page is fascinating and well worth a click.

Also, the page links to an ABC news segment that features the internet art project.

I’ll save you some time and drop that link right here.
You’re Welcome.

Arrow of Time 1976

Arrow of Time 2007